How to ... Tie a Tie

This is not the boring English school boy knot that looks all lopsided. Oh no sir, this is a proper knot.

1. Start with the wide end on the left.
2. Take the wide end over the narrow end.
3. Take the wide end all the way around the back and then back through the neck gap from the front. Finish by taking the end down to the right.
4.  Reach round the front left side with the right hand, take the wide end and bring all the way round the front over the first three fingers and grip with the little finger.
5. Take the wide end up through the neck gap from the back and through where the fingers are.
6. Pull down to tighten knot in symmetrical fashion.
7. [optional step for anal retentives] Pull narrow end through knot to check it comes undone properly. Redo from step 1.
   

[appart from step 7, this HOWTO is courtesy of Raymond Thompson]